The True Champ: Screwed and Chopped LP
by TRIGGER MIKE THE GREAT
Summary: 28 (some are new)of the Smashers battle in a tourney to prove who the true champion is...NEW CHAPTER UP BABY!
1. Trouble King 3

Disclaimer: Ok, so you really think I own Nintendo and their characters? What kind of dro are ya'll smoking?

A/N: Well after being in retirement for 3 days, I've decided to start writing again, this story will be different from the older version. So this brand-new content for each chapter but it will still have the same chapter names.

Trouble King 3

At Final Destination, December 31,2001 11:35 PM…

Mario and Bowser stood on the platform that was drifting through the virtual space. Bowser let out a loud roar and Mario cracked his knuckles. The two rivals started staring a hole into each others chest until the PA system interrupted their little contest.

"WELCOME TO THE FINAL MATCH OF THE 2001 SUPER SMASH BROTHERS TOURNAMENT! IT WILL BE A VERY INTENSE ONE- STOCK BATTLE BETWEEN MARIO AND BOWSER! 3...2...1...GO!!!" yelled the announcer.

"This is what I've been waiting for." Mario said as he adjusted his trademark cap.

Bowser let out a quick laugh "Yes, my day has finally arrived…the day when I whooped your fat Italian ass and get rewarded for it!" the Koopa King smirked.

Mario heard enough and ran to the King of all Koopas and gave him a baseball slide which caused the over-sized Koopa to fall down on his back. Bowser jumped right up and tried to hit Mario with his tail. Mario did a backflip to dodge the spiky tail. Bowser then grabbed the plumber and began to headbutt him rapidly in the head. Mario thought his skull was cracked as he felt Bowser pound harder and harder into his head. Then the Trouble King got tired of assaulting Mario, that way, and threw him over to the other side of the huge platform. Mario hit the ground hard and laid there to regain some strength. Then Mario started to hear footsteps, loud footsteps. He knew Bowser was coming so he had to quickly come up with a plan. Mario then noticed out of the corner of his eye a weapon that could help him, a Bob-omb. So the native from Brooklyn rolled back and grabbed the Bob-omb like a loose ball in the middle of the Super Bowl and threw it like a star-QB (Quarterback). Bowser now acted like a star-WR (Wide Receiver) and caught the lethal weapon and threw it back at the unaware Mario. The Bob-omb hit Mario with tremendous force and sent him into the air in flames.

Bowser then spat a rather large fireball up at the flying plumber. Mario saw this and used his cape to send it back to it's owner. Bowser tired to dodge it, but being the 500lbs. Koopa that he is, this was an impossible task. The fireball gave Bowser a lot of serious burns. Bowser let out a furious roar and jumped up into the air to give Mario a taste of his Whirling Fortress attack. The chubby plumber then used this to his advantage and gave Bowser a big powerful fist to send him flying back down to the platform below. Bowser fell to the ground and stared up into the starry sky.

Mario landed next to the Koopa and grabbed his tail. Mario found it hard to grip Bowser's tail since it had spikes on it. The plumber tried to grab the tail only to get his hand cut up by the spikes. Mario quickly let go and yelled out in pain. He noticed he had 3 deep holes in his right hand. Bowser chuckled and punched Mario right in the nose, also causing that to bleed. Bowser then clotheslined Mario almost causing him to break his neck. Bowser couldn't help but smile.

Meanwhile at the SSBM (Super Smash Brothers Megaplex)

"C'mon Mario, you can't lose to him!" yelled Peach, watching her boyfriend get destroyed on national TV.

Ganondorf looked at Peach and laughed "Sure he can, I mean c'mon! What dumbass grabs someone with a spiked tail?"

"You did, remember in the first round?" Samus chuckled.

Flashback

Ganondorf runs up to Bowser and grabs him by the tail…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THAT SHIT HURTS!!!" Ganondorf screamed with tears coming out of his eyes.

Bowser grinned and replied "Dumb…Gerudo…moron…"

End Flashback

"Err…" Ganondorf said as he walked away.

"Would all you please be quiet! This is a very important match!" E. Gadd yelled at the Smashers.

"Oh Mario…" Peach sighed.

"Oh…hotcakes…" Zelda sighed.

"Is that all you think about?!" Samus asked.

"No, I care for all living things." replied Zelda.

"Oh really, so why did you make a national holiday in Hyrule for hotcakes?"

"Shut up! This is the match of the freakin' century!" E. Gadd said rudely, as he smacked the bounty hunter with a fan.

Samus grabbed Gadd with her grapple beam and yelled "Look bitch, just because you're a old geezer doesn't mean I wont slam your ass through that wall!"

"I'm s-sorry!" E. Gadd gulped.

"You better be…" Samus replied coldly.

Back at Final Destination…

Mario was holding his neck and panting very hardly, Bowser however was doing push-ups trying to mock our (most of our) hero. Bowser then swung a violent jab at Mario and nailed him in between the eyes. Bowser then decided to release his ultimate weapon. He simply snapped his fingers and his Koopa Klown Car came down from the sky. He got in and flew high up into the sky. Bowser then typed in a bunch of information in his dashboard and then let out a terrifying laugh.

Meanwhile on the ground, Mario just got up and noticed Bowser in his infamous vehicle and ran for cover, even though there was nowhere to hide…

Bowser now for some odd reason has army apparel on "Now to destroy the enemy!" Bowser said proudly as he fired 10 heat-seeking Bullet Bills at Mr. Nintendo.

"MOMMA-MIA!!!" Mario panicked.

Meanwhile at SSBM…

"Why did you allow Bowser to have that?!" Peach screamed as she was choking E. Gadd.

"How the hell was I suppose to know!" E. Gadd coughed.

"You're the goddamn chairman, you should know stuff like this!"

"Man, c'mon I didn't know!"

"Whatever" Peach said as she dropped the little old man "please don't get hurt…Mario."

Back at Final Destination…

To Mario's luck a item that could truly help him, A Super Mushroom! He ate it and became very big, so big he was at the same height as the Klown Car. Mario gave Bowser a devilish grin and grabbed him and the Klown Car and crushed it to pieces. Bowser had a tear in his eye due to the fact that the Klown Car caused a lot of money, but he could always get Gadd to fix it. Mario then grabbed the King and started to kick him around like a soccer ball. Mario finally returned to normal size and continue his assault on Bowser. Mario threw a powerful punch at Bowser and connected his fist with the big Koopa's jaw. Mario then gave him a Super Jump Punch which gave tore up Bowser's chin and then grabbed a weapon to seal a victorious K.O.

"Ah ha, just what I needed!" Mario said, keeping his eyes on his target.

"Dammit, this isn't how it well end" the Koopa panted.

Mario then threw the weapon at full speed, 125 mph to be exact and hit Bowser with the Green Shell. This caused Bowser to fly up into the sky, so far that he ended up flying into the now computerized horizon.

"GAME!!!" the announcer said as the two warriors were transported back to SSBM.

A/N: Well ppl I'm sorry but I'm ending it here. School has started back, which means less updates than normal so excepted an update in the next 3 weeks.

So Mario has won the 2001 Championship, how will his fellow Smashers act towards this? Find out in the next exciting chapter of The True Champ: Screwed and Chopped. (extended version)


	2. Party Time!

A/N: Well school is actually cool for once...so sorry I haven't been able get much out but bare with me, I'm a junior in HS.

Uninvited Party Guests

January 1, 2002 12:00 AM...

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" all the Smashers cheered as the clock struck midnight.

Most of the older Smashers were drinking wine or champagne, the younger ones were drinking apple cider.

"Ok, first off I'd like to say..." Bowser hiccupped putting his arm around Ganondorf. "I love ya man!"

Ganondorf threw the Koopa's arm off of him and ran away from Bowser. Bowser just shrugged and downed the rest of his wine. Peach and Zelda were busying talking about their plans with their lives after the tournament was officially over.

"Well I plan on having a stadium built somewhere in Hyrule and having a tournament." Zelda said taking a sip of apple cider. (A/N: That's so good stuff!!!)

"Oh, that sounds nice, I just plan on making peace with the BeanBean Kingdom" Peach said taking a sip of her wine.

"I thought you and Queen Bean were great friends?"

"Well just about a week ago the Queen pasted away and Prince Peasley has taken over and is summoning a army to take over many kingdoms! Ours included..."

"That's terrible, after everything the Marios and you did for them."

"The BeanBean Council doesn't approve of it, but what can they do while Peasley has the most power..." Peach sighed.

"It's ok, we'll overcome whatever he throws at us!" Zelda threw her fist into the air.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have a special announcement concerning the league!" E. Gadd shouted into the microphone.

"Are we getting some more free booze?!" Falcon said while grabbing Samus's ass.

"Let go of my ass, you drunk idiot!" Samus hissed.

"Dayum, you are stacked like pancakes!!!"

"I bet you $20 and a Golden Banana that Falcon gets some action tonight." DK told Fox.

"You're on!" Fox said shaking the ape's large hand.

"No Falcon, I have better news. First of all, you guys wont be scheduled to compete until March 18, 2004!" E. Gadd said.

"How come?!" Link, the 1999 Smash Bros. Champion demanded.

"Well we are changing things around here and it will take about 3 years for us to complete the new and improved Super Smash Brothers Tournament!"

"But if you don't compete for 3 years, don't you think we will lose our skills?" Luigi asked.

"No, because you'll be working out every week and meeting each other every month for training." E. Gadd added. "You will also be require to learn 3 new signature moves!"

"Neat-o!" Ness and Young Link screamed in unison.

"You guys will also have 3 on 3 tag team battles!"

"OH MY GIDDY AUNT!!!" everyone said in perfect harmony.

"And to amaze you guys even more you'll have 5 new Smashers to compete with." E. Gadd chirped.

"This is perfect, more weak insolent fools to destroy" Mewtwo smirked.

"And who are these unlucky cherries?" Ganondorf asked still avoiding contact with the Koopa King.

"Us!" a red squirrel exclaimed taking a gulp of his beer and pointing to two babies dressed like the Mario Bros., a little koopa that looked just like Bowser, and a little chimp with a red tank top on.

Ganondorf grinned, was this the 5 threats he's been hearing of? "So, this is it, Gadd?!"

"Yes, now I think they should actually introduce themselves."

"Well, my name is Conker and I have an alcohol problem!" then he slapped himself "I mean my name is Conker and I'm the king of U.S.S.!"

"My name is Bowser Jr. and I'm the Mario's biggest threat ever!!!" he said transforming into his alter-ego Shadow Mario.

"Excuse me?" Bowser growled at his son. "Umm...I mean second biggest threat." Shadow Mario whimpered.

"My name is Baby Mario!" then the little tyke dressed in red grabbed his brother from his hiding spot. "And this is Baby Luigi." Baby Luigi smiled shyly.

"And most of you should know me, I'm DK's nephew, my name is Diddy Kong." the chimp replied showing off his guitar.

"Ok, ladies and gents, those are your new combatants!"

"What about me, cool cat?" a Kong dressed in ARMY attire yelled.

"Oh yeah, and this guy is going to be an alternate fighter and our blacksmith, Funky Kong."

"That's right and for a mere 500 Mushroom Coins, 5 power stars, 10 shines, 1000 bananas, 250 rupees, 12 crystal coconuts, or 6 golden bananas, you can purchase one of my state of the art weapons specialize just for you, dudes!" Funky said winking.

"Thank you, Mr. Kong." E. Gadd said shaking the Kong's large arm. "now we need to crown the champion!!!"

Suddenly a spotlight shined on Mario and the famous "We Are The Champions" hit the speakers. Mario ran up on the stage and performed a few dance moves for his fellow Smashers.

"Ah-ha, Mario's the winner!!!" Mario yelled doing his trademark pose.

"Here you go champ!" E. Gadd said putting the Smash Bros. Championship around his waist. "Ok, before you guys leave tomorrow to head home we have a special match in store for you guys."

"Alright, please tell me it's a mud-wrestling match between Zelda, Peach and Samus!" Bowser hiccupped. "HLA for life!!!"

"Yeah" Bowser Jr. yelled coping his father.

"Sorry, but I think you'd rather see these 5 newbies duke it out on one of exclusive brand new levels!" E. Gadd said while the 5 'newbies' stepped onto the teleporters.

"Screw this, my son will whoop all of their asses!" Bowser yelled patting his son on the back.

Conker laughed and pulled out his infamous frying pan. "I'll pan handle this kid personally..." Before Conker could finish his sentence a Bob-Omb landed on the stage and blew up everyone on the stage into the starry horizon.

"What the hell is goin' on here?" a chubby man dressed in yellow yelled out. "You havin' a party without the Wario Bros.?!"

"Yep, cuz we don't wanna your fat ass to eat all of the food!" Mario smirked.

"So what do you two want?" Luigi hissed staring a hole into Waluigi.

"We want to be in this pathetic tournament to win some easy dough." Waluigi said. "Plus I want bragging right after I kick your pathetic..." Waluigi was interrupted by a powerful jab by Luigi. Waluigi fought back by giving the Lean Green Wrecking Machine a roundhouse kick which knocked him into Kirby, Link and Falco, who were watching the brawl. Falco, not on the best terms with Luigi happen to have a beer bottle in hand and bashed Luigi in the skull with it. Waluigi smirked and was about to attack again until Mario started holding him back.

"C'mon Waluigi, this ain't the right place to do this!" Mario screamed trying to hold Waluigi back.

"Hey Mario! Let him go! I'm not afraid of that piece of..." Luigi yelled trying to get his hands on Waluigi.

"This ain't the right place for this kind of things!" Mario said dodging a kick from Luigi, intended on Waluigi.

"What's wrong Luigi, gotta have your big brother settle fights for you?" Waluigi teased.

Luigi turned red and replied to that comment by spitting in Waluigi's face. Wario then had enough of watching the fight and punched Luigi in the ribs causing him to blackout. Mario saw this and immediately tackled the greedy man to the ground.

"Falco, we've gotta stop this!" Fox yelled ready to use his stun gun.

"No way dude!" Falco yelled in excitement. "it's about time someone whooped the Mario Bros. asses!!"

"What do you have against them?" Fox asked

"They think they are so great!" Falco spat. "I personally think E. Gadd rigged this whole tournament just for promo for that lard ass!"

"Damn, why are you so jealous?" Fox growled. "are you mad cuz' he beat your ass in the first round?"

"No...that was pure lu--" Falco was interrupted by Mario's body flying into him courtesy of Wario.

"Ok guys that's enough!" E. Gadd screamed using Fox's stun gun on the Mario and Wario Bros. "This little shindig is over!"

"Awwww!" was the reply from most Smashers.

"Damn, I'm so wasted" Bowser then vomited all over Peach.

"Ack! Your so sick Bowser!"

"Nah, I'm just totally wasted, babe."

"What did you just call me?" Peach said taking out her golf club.

Bowser just replied by throwing up some more and passing out.

"Wait my brothers and sister here about this" Bowser Jr. chuckled.

A/N: It looks like things will be heating up in 3 years when the tournament, will Wario and Waluigi be there to join the chaos and mayhem, find out in the next chapter, Where it all begins...again. It would make me feel better if you guys **_REVIEW _**so I can know if I'm doing a good job or not...the next chapter will be out soon hopefully...


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